There is just one word for this child today: brave. Baxter will be experiencing yet another first day of school tomorrow - this time at Jefferson Elementary School here in our neighborhood.

He found out about this plan as we were walking to the car after school today. Baxter was happily telling me about the lovely day he had with all of his friends, and I announced that he would never see them again. (Okay, that's how it felt to me. In reality, I spent about 5 minutes telling a long, flowery "Once upon a time there was a school that was hard to get into" type of story that had him so captivated that at the end he said, "And now I get to go there?!" as if he were the luckiest boy in the world. It took about 10 seconds for it sink in that this meant he was done at Grattan.) So he did what any of us would do: he cried. And he yelled at me. What he said was perfectly appropriate and well-articulated: "You and Daddy should NOT be allowed to make that choice for me. I should make it myself! And I choose Grattan!" Who wouldn't feel that way? I told him I understood, and that it's hard to leave a place that is comfortable and nice. I also stressed that it was a very difficult decision and that we thought about it for days. I explained matter-of-factly that when he gets older he will be able to help us choose his schools. But, I told him, when you are in kindergarten that's a choice for the grown-ups to make. We've had that conversation a few times today.

I must digress a moment here because quite a few of you have asked if we would let him choose, and I thought about it myself for a fleeting moment at first. I believe that there are some very good reasons not to go that route on a major decision, however. For one thing, that places a great deal of responsibility on the shoulders of a very young person. What if he doesn't like it later? He would naturally assume that he could change his mind and switch anytime. Also, if something didn't go right for him at school, who would he blame? Himself! I'd prefer he blame us. Futhermore, what would he base his decision on? I, for one, do not ultimately want the decision of where he goes to school to come down to which classroom has the better collection of dinosaurs. So no, I would not recommend letting a young child make this kind of decision for himself. I say, if you're going to let your little kid make adult decisions, start saving about $10 a week for his therapy sessions later in life because he'll need it!

But back to our story...here's the amazing thing - he cried and argued a good part of the way home, but when I told him that his new class was still in the classroom at Jefferson this afternoon (and I described all that I had seen in there) and told him that they all wanted him to come visit this afternoon, the tears just stopped and he was ready to go. I could never have predicted such a recovery. He did not even hesitate at the doorway of the new classroom, but allowed the teacher to take him by the hand and lead him in - the whole class knew there was a new student coming soon (I had called ahead!), and had been dying to meet him, so they all cheered and even knew his name before he arrived. I was amazed to see the enthusiasm of his new classmates - many of them popped out of their seats and actually shook his hand and introduced themselves...unprompted! He felt comfortable immediately. A girl showed him an empty desk belonging to a child who was absent today, and even directed him to the crayons inside the desk. He joined right in with what they were doing, and as he colored they approached him, one by one, to introduce themselves and show him some random things, like a teddy bear one had colored earlier.

After a while, I showed him around the room and he was excited about the cozy couch in the library area and all the pretend play toys he found. A boy named Edward introduced himself and showed Baxter where all the play hats were - the boys stood in a corner trying hats on each other for quite a while. The new teacher was happily surprised at how quickly Baxter was adjusting, but I told her this child used to be Mayor of the Playground so it wasn't a big surprise to me. When it was time to leave, he wanted to stay and see more of the school. On the way home, Baxter said, "Mommy? I want to stay at Jefferson. I also want to stay at Grattan." I thought that summed it up nicely.

Matt and Baxter attended Jefferson's Back to School Night tonight, which seemed to provide him with yet another level of comfort with the school, and Matt was happy with everything he saw and heard as well.

We find ourselves inspired by Baxter's enormous bravery today. I have tried to find a parallel adult experience to compare it to, but you know, nothing actually does compare because, well, we aren't 4 or 5 years old. There is a vulnerability there that most of us don't experience, no matter how many rugs are pulled out from under our feet. Next time I need to face a big change in my life, I want to remember the way he walked into that new classroom today. His smile and steady voice nearly distracted me from the traces of tears on his cheeks.