Worlds Collide

I have recently been thinking about how you can create your child's world for him, but that it lasts only so long; before you know it, he goes off to school and begins to learn about everything else that's out there that his parents have been keeping from him.

Let's take Power Rangers for example, shall we? All I know about them dates back to my preschool teaching days, which were now 13 years ago. Four characters, all in different colors (the boys always fought over who would be the red one, I think his name was Jason), and there was a pink one - was she a 5th Power Ranger, or one of the main four? I don't know, and frankly, I don't really care. But Baxter would, oh yesiree, he would. He plays Power Rangers on the playground at school at recess these days, and yells, "Go go Power Rangers!" any chance he gets. After school last week he drew a Power Ranger. "And this is his gun!" he said happily. A-hem. It had been a while, but we had The Talk about guns and what they really do, which he had clearly forgotten. He was horrified all over again. Now his Power Rangers creatively fight the bad guys by releasing lions and elephants from their feet of all places, and this frightens those bad guys away. I was quite pleased that he came up with this alternative. I'm sure the kids on the playground have no idea what he's talking about, but that's okay. Matt tells me the Power Rangers really don't have guns, anyway.

"Mommy, I just pretend I know the shows all the kids are talking about - I fake it," he told me one day. He didn't actually seem upset by this, but I did feel kind of bad for him. Of course, I was feeling like we'd really let him loose in the past year, letting him watch a couple Pixar films and a few Disney movies. He's seen more mainstream stuff than most of our friends' kids here in San Francisco, a fact our friends and relations from other parts of the country will probably find a bit bizarre. But this is small potatoes in the real world - the other boys his age are all about Spiderman and Power Rangers.

He rarely asks to see this stuff, and when he did I just told him it is really violent and he wouldn't like all the scary fighting (which is true), and that was the end of that. But I did get him some Spiderman pajamas (remembering just how much I loved my Wonder Woman underoos as a kid) and Santa is bringing him a Spiderman watch. I think we're finding the balance between letting him watch this junk and giving him just enough tools to feel like he's part of the gang.

Then there's the food. He recognized Cheetos in his Look-Alikes Christmas book today and I was so surprised to hear the word coming from his mouth! He's definitely never had a Cheeto, but he told me a couple of boys in his class bring them in their lunches and he wants to try them. A girl from Baxter's class spent part of a day with us a few weeks ago and it was definitely eye-opening. We get a weekly organic produce delivery and Baxter asked her if she wanted to help unload it with me. "What's 'organic'?" she asked, and he explained. She came to help unload the produce and she was all excited about the lettuce - "I want some of that" she said, pointing. She didn't seem to know what to call it, but she wanted to eat it. The next words, however, were: "Do you have ranch?" Baxter just stared at her, having never heard of "ranch". I started to feel a little self-conscious at lunch time when he asked with excitement, "Do you want an almond butter and jelly sandwich?" It was clear that she'd never heard of almond butter, and I'm glad we didn't have to get into the fact that it was raw almond butter, to boot.

Spreading the raw almond butter on our Ezekiel whole grain/live grain/God knows what healthy bread, it dawned on me that Baxter's home life is really, really different from just about everyone else's at school. And I feel a little bad for him, because maybe it's hard to "fake it" and act like you know what all the other kids are talking about and eating. On the other hand, he doesn't appear to be suffering - he's not asking for what the other kids have more than once, and he is very popular so he must be a good faker.

And besides, how boring would it be if he went to school with a bunch of kids who were being raised just like him? It's one thing to go to kindergarten and realize that your family isn't like many of the others; it would be quite another to go to college never learning that. So yes, sending your kid to public school in the city certainly does open his eyes to a more realistic, mainstream world. Worlds do collide, even in your very own kitchen, but it's all part of the world we live in. If he can learn to be himself in that world at an early age, that's the best lesson there is.