Charm School

"Mrs. Baird must've wrote this late at night," said Baxter in a knowing tone. "That's why it's all mixed up." I looked up from my breakfast to see what on earth he was talking about. He was reading his teacher's letter to the parents, in which she glows about her great class, updates us on field trips, the current enrichment programs, etc. I asked him what he meant. "Well," he said, "Look at this word! It says "toward" but she put a 'w' in it!" "Ummm...there is a 'w' in the word 'toward', honey," I started to say but I was quickly corrected. And none too pleasantly. Apparently I was wrong about that and quite a few other things having to do with the correct spelling of English words. It's not even worth trying to remember his exact words, because it wasn't the words that were so offensive. It was the tone. That haughty 5-year old know-it-all tone. It's bad. So bad that I finally got to the point where I had to say with great irritation, "Baxter, if you don't want to hear the answers, because you are so sure you already know everything, please don't keep asking us spelling and reading questions."

At this point, Matt walked into the dining room and, having overheard some of our conversation said casually to me, "Oh, honey? Charm school called. They've got a few questions about Baxter's application." At which point I quietly laughed until tears rolled down my face.

What a way to start the day.